Rule No. 1: Choose your angle carefully.

I am aware that I am a rather striking specimen. The rich brown coat, pale markings, magnificent tail and rather impressive proportions are difficult to ignore. Nevertheless, I suggest you work with what I give you. I will not be repositioning myself for your convenience. If you happen to find me perched at an awkward angle, hanging from a branch or partially concealed behind foliage, consider it an artistic challenge.

Rule No. 3: Do not expect me to pose indefinitely.

I have things to do. There are fruits to investigate, branches to negotiate and an entire forest to keep under observation. Unlike certain human celebrities, I do not have a publicist, a stylist or a contractual obligation to remain photogenic until sunset. If I disappear behind a branch, that is not a failed photograph. That is the end of the appointment.

Rule No. 2: Never ask me to look at the camera.

I was already looking at you. You simply weren't paying attention. I have exceptionally good eyesight and an excellent view from the canopy. I can see you long before you see me, which gives me considerable time to decide whether you are worth acknowledging. Occasionally, you are.

Rule No. 4: Please do not underestimate the importance of the tail.

It is not merely there to make me look impressive in photographs, although I appreciate that it does. My tail assists with balance as I navigate the canopy and is rather useful when travelling through the complicated architecture of the forest. You may regard it as a photographic feature. I regard it as essential equipment. Please respect the distinction.